Love and Loss
by NickkiGellerGreen
Summary: Emma's death creates a void in the family. Can Nicky and the family cope? How will they handle it. I want your imput Plz Read n Review. Ch 8 updated! Plz, RnR RnR fic
1. The day that makes their lives complete

Ch.1  
  
The day that makes their lives complete  
  
It was 4:00 Nickey had awoken to the sound of her alarm she quietly tip toed into  
  
living room. She looked out the window to see her father getting ready for the wedding he  
  
noticed her and smiled, she smiled back. She took in a deep breath this was one of the  
  
happiest days of her life. Her parents were finally tying the knot. Her family had been  
  
through so much and she loved them so much. She could remember being little and going  
  
places with her mom and dad. Since she was the first born between Ross and Rachel she  
  
was the golden child. She was the one with the first steps first to ride a bike, and she'd be  
  
first for everything else, so on some level she was the reason the family stayed together.  
  
Their family would've been perfect except for the fact of her parents but when she looked  
  
at them she knew what she saw was true love. Her parents would kiss and it wasn't gross  
  
to her, it was what she wanted when she grew up.   
  
She was also very close to her older step brother Ben he had been about three and  
  
a half years older than Nickey. They talked all the time, he loved spending time with her  
  
she was his baby sister. They helped each other out with girl and guy problems. They  
  
could talk to each other about anything. Ben was also very protective of her.  
  
Hey, Emma   
  
Morning Nickey," she mumbled as though she wasn't quite up yet, "What are you  
  
doing up so early?"  
  
" I was just thinking about today, do you think dad will really go through with it  
  
this time?" she asked even though they all knew the answer, " It's just I've always wanted  
  
this perfect family and the last thing I need to check off is mom and dad getting married"  
  
Emma yawned then replied " I've had the same dream since ... forever, they've  
  
been off and on again. Besides even if they don't we still have each other."  
  
The two of them huddled close together under the blanket to watch there father  
  
nervously pace the floors with a smile now and then. About an hour passed, Emma and  
  
Nickey had fallen asleep right there by the window. Rachel had walked in and noticed the  
  
girls curled up on the couch, she smiled as the images re surfaced in her head. There had  
  
been three very important day in her life and today makes four, she thought. Today my life  
  
is complete. She entered Monica bedroom again to grab the dresses for the girls. They  
  
were almost exactly like Monica's bridesmaid dresses, they had little shells scattered about  
  
them and each daughter had their own unique hair piece. Emma was perfectly shaped with  
  
shells and little flowers arranged neatly into a heart, on the other hand Nickey's was mixed  
  
fashionably to create an unperfected shape. Nickey had sprinkled hers with glitter, it added  
  
a perfect touch. Everyone had said she was just like Rachel in so many ways. Rachel  
  
woken the girls up and sent then to get dressed.   
  
At Ross' he was already dressed, he sat down on his couch to think things over  
  
one last time. He had decorated the Church in red roses since, Rachel had said she didn't  
  
want lilies after the last incident. While thinking of this the painful memory of that day shot  
  
into Ross' mind. He remembered writing the note to Rachel telling her how much he loved  
  
the kids and how he was so sorry for leaving. The fight when he returned home came next.  
  
He remembered it clearly it was almost like the we were on a break fight except this time  
  
it contained Nickey and Emma. He remembered Emma being so young she instantly sided  
  
with Ross, she was daddy's little girl, and Nickey, two years older siding with Rachel. His  
  
mind slowly let that memory go as he realized today would be the happiest day of his  
  
entire life, this would make his life complete. He dialed the phone he couldn't wait till five  
  
to see her, he had to at least hear her voice.   
  
" Hey sweetie"  
  
" Hey"  
  
" I love you more than anything in the world."  
  
" You love me more than mom"  
  
At this point he knew he was talking to Emma. Emma sounded a lot like Rachel,  
  
that was the only thing the had in common. " Can I talk to mommy"  
  
"Dad, I'm twelve years old I think you can call her mom"  
  
There was a soft laugh in the background, he knew it was hers, he knew her laugh  
  
by heart because that meant she was happy. "Hello"  
  
"I love you"  
  
" Ross, I love you to but I can't see you till five o'clock"  
  
You can't see me"  
  
" Ross, you're giving us bad luck"  
  
"I don't think we could have more bad luck, you do realize this is the third time  
  
we've been trying to live happily ever after"  
  
"We sound pathetic"  
  
" Well, this time it will be one hundred no one billion percent real"  
  
"You promise"  
  
"I promise"  
  
" I love you, Mr. Gellar"  
  
" I love you soon to be Mrs. Gellar."  
  
She hung up the phone. "Mrs. Gellar, It has a nice to ring to it" but inside she was  
  
thinking FINALLY! It what who she always wanted to be, she knew that sooner or later it  
  
would come true.  
  
There was a quick knock on the door. It was Monica, she was the mother of the  
  
group, always keeping things clean and keeping the others happy. She was also Rachel's  
  
best friend of all time and now she was Monica's made of honor. Rachel had heard her  
  
knock but decided not to answer as usual. "Rach, open u-" The door swung open and in  
  
walked Monica. "Why are you dressed?'  
  
"The girls are in the bathroom right now, I figured I get dressed when they were  
  
done"  
  
"Well they better hurry up."  
  
"Monica don't rush them we have plenty of time, besides I want them to look  
  
perfect"  
  
"You do realize this is your wedding day right"  
  
"Yea but this is just as important to me as it is to them:  
  
Yea, right"  
  
"It is important to us"  
  
Both of them turned around to see the girls. Emma was perfectly in place with her  
  
hair up and curly. Nickey was beautifully dressed with her hair in a messy French twist.  
  
Monica and Rachel both started to cry. The girls stood there, they looked at each other  
  
and smiled. They both new that they looked perfect.  
  
"You are the cutest nieces I have"  
  
"You guys are, are, beautiful"  
  
"We know, but thank you" The girls had their mother's sense of humor and there  
  
fathers manners.  
  
"Hey girls don't tell Aunt Phoebe I said that"  
  
They all laughed and the girls agreed. A million thoughts were going through their  
  
heads. Rachel was so happy with everything she was taking it all in. Emma wanted to get  
  
to the church and she was very cautious with how she looked. Nickey, well Nickey was  
  
thinking of how blessed she was. They all had one thought it common though today was  
  
the day each of their lives would be complete.  
  
At the church Ross had prepared the church beautifully with Roses and now he  
  
was on to checking for everything. The halls were decorated with deep red colors and  
  
twinkling white lights. In the lobby there was a picture of Ross and Rachel's Engagement  
  
picture, it was perfect Ross was in a Red Sweater and Jeans, Rachel was in a red silk shirt  
  
and Jeans. . Ross loved that picture he had a picture of it on his desk at work along of the  
  
family picture, that was taken that same day. The family photo conceited of all of them on  
  
a deck. Nickey was sitting with her legs crossed over hanging off the deck, she was  
  
wearing a red see-through shirt with a spaghetti strap shirt underneath. Behind her was  
  
Rachel with her arms around Nickey. Next to Nickey was Emma, she had a short sleeve  
  
T-shirt on with a silver stripe on it. Nate was laying on both of their laps, he had a red  
  
long sleeve shirt with Polo written in silver. Ross was behind Emma with his arms around  
  
her and Rachel. They looked like the perfect family even though they been through so  
  
much. Ross moved on from the Lobby to Find Chandler and the kids. He entered a room  
  
to find chandler with Nate and Daniel who were wrestling with him.   
  
"Guys come on stop it" Chandler said with the sound of annoyance in his voice.  
  
"Nate come here" Ross said to his son, who was seven and a half.  
  
"Dad!"   
  
"Nathaniel come here right now" he hated to use his full name but Nate would  
  
always listen when you did.  
  
"Fine"  
  
Ross kneeled down to be at Nate's level. "Please behave today, this is very  
  
important to me and mommy. We're all officially a family today. I love you Nate so please  
  
don't make me yell at you"  
  
"I'm sorry daddy this is special to me too."  
  
Ross stood up " Okay, I gotta go call Rach and see when she's coming because I  
  
don't want to run into her."   
  
Chandler was still wrestling with Daniel, "and tell Monica to come and help me  
  
with her son."  
  
Ross just laughed, Chandler had matured a lot since Daniel came into the picture  
  
but he couldn't yell at Daniel. He loved his son to much to stay mad at him for more than  
  
five seconds. Ross looked into the room one last time. Nate was now playing a video  
  
game on the couch. He looked so grown up in his suit. Phoebe had gotten up early to do  
  
his hair in little spikes and she helped him get dressed. His golden tie that matched the  
  
girls dresses was perfectly done, and he had a red rose pinned to his suit. "Dad, I want to  
  
go with you"  
  
"Okay, get on."  
  
Nate jumped on to his back and they were off. Ross had found a phone. "Monica  
  
can I talk to Rach"  
  
"She's getting dressed why?"  
  
" I just wanted to know when you guys were coming."  
  
"We're coming as soon as Rachel gets dressed."  
  
"Okay tell her I love her'  
  
"me too" Nate said from the background.  
  
"I will, bye"  
  
"Bye"  
  
Monica hung up the phone and started to get the girls finished. She got them all  
  
sitting in the living room. In the big chair sat Katelynn, Monica's daughter. Next to her  
  
was P.J. , short for Phoebe Jr., They were best friends. Nickey was on the couch sitting  
  
next to Emma. Next to Emma was Phoebe. . Sitting on the floor was Phoebe's youngest  
  
child, Joseph, even though everyone called him little Joey (you can guess who the father  
  
is). Sitting Next to Joseph was Zachary, Rachel and Ross' youngest child. He was barely a  
  
year old. Maddie, short for Madalynn , was holding Zack. She was Phoebe oldest child she  
  
was around six, she usually hung out with Daniel and Nate.  
  
They were all sitting around talking when the bathroom door opened and out  
  
walked Rachel in a sparkling dress.  
  
"How you doin?" said little Joey.  
  
They all gave a laugh and Monica walked up to Rachel, "Rachel you look  
  
beautiful."  
  
"I know"  
  
"You really look good" Phoebe added in.  
  
"Better then you guys,"   
  
"No one can" said Monica.  
  
"Well, I think we all look the best on our wedding day." Phoebe had become so  
  
much more serious since Joey had left her.  
  
"Thanks pheebs"  
  
"Okay, I'll go grab one of the Limos you guys come down when you got  
  
everything,"   
  
"Monica can I talk to you for a minute"  
  
"yea, Rach"  
  
They went into the hall and immediately after the door was closed Rachel hugged  
  
Monica.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
" None of this would've happened with out you."  
  
"The guys really helped too."  
  
"I know it was your idea"  
  
"Actually it was Nickey and Emma's."  
  
"Really"  
  
"I helped too"  
  
"Thanks Monica, You always believed in Ross and I. I don't what I would do  
  
without you and I don't just mean now."  
  
"I'm glad your my best friend too"  
  
"Ready to go" Nickey asked peeking her head out the door.  
  
"I gotta get my make up together"  
  
"I already got it, mom."  
  
"Thanks sweetie"  
  
Monica, and Phoebe took all of the kids down to the limo except Nickey and  
  
Emma so they could talk. "Girls, can we talk?"  
  
"sure mom."  
  
"I really need to thank you guys for putting your dad and I together"  
  
"what"  
  
"I talked to Aunt Monica"  
  
"She never could keep a secret" said Emma.  
  
"I love you guys so much, and I wish I wasn't leaving so early in the morning but  
  
when I comeback I'm going to spend a week with each one of you. You are growing up  
  
to fast. I love you guys now let's get going"  
  
"I love you too mom" Nickey said. She was exactly like Rachel in every way. In  
  
fact last Joey saw her he gave her the nickname of little Rach.  
  
"Me too mom" T  
  
"Come here" All three of them hugged when the door came swinging open.  
  
"Okay were gonna be late, let's go, let's go, let's go"  
  
Back at the church Ross and Nate were waiting for Ben to show up. As soon as  
  
they walked out he pulled up in his car. "Sorry it took so long dad, I couldn't get my tie  
  
right."  
  
"Here let me help "Ross fixed his son's tie. When he was done he took a quick  
  
look at his son. He looked so grown up. "There"   
  
"Thanks pops"  
  
"Dad, Dad don't look mommy's here"  
  
At those words Ross closed his eyes. "Rachel"  
  
"Yea, I'm here" She too had her eyes closed  
  
"I love you"  
  
"I love you too"  
  
"Yea, Yea, we all love each other, the wedding starts in a half hour, can we please  
  
get going"  
  
"Okay, Okay" Nickey lead Rachel in and Emma lead Ross in.   
  
"Here we are dad, you can open your eyes now,"   
  
Ross opened his eyes and looked at his daughter. "You are look amazing and so  
  
grown up. You look absolutely beautiful"  
  
"Thanks Dad, you look good too. I'm gonna go with mom now"   
  
"Tell your sister to come here, will ya"  
  
"Sure"  
  
Emma walked back to the room where Monica was finishing Rachel's makeup.  
  
Emma was only thirteen but she still understood the importance of this day. Seeing her  
  
mother in that dress made her feel so happy inside. She was sick of going back and fourth  
  
with her mom and dad on weekends. Nickey was sitting right next to her mom. Emma and  
  
everyone else knew that Rachel's favorite was Nickey and Emma was Ross' favorite. Nate  
  
was Rachel's favorite son and Ben was Ross'. Emma sat down on a chair in the corner.  
  
"Em what are you doing over there, come over here with" Nickey was a great  
  
sister, even when she hated to invite her sister she did.  
  
"I'm just getting some alone time before people start coming up and pinching my  
  
cheeks to tell me how cute I am, oh by the way dad wants to see you."  
  
"He does?"  
  
"Yelp" she felt that she was the outsider of the family. Nickey had brains and she  
  
was a cheerleader, which made Rachel so happy. Nate had skipped first grade and he was  
  
on a soccer team. Ben did football and his best subject was science. Emma loved school  
  
but was never good at it, she also liked to figure skate, which was not conceded a sport in  
  
the Gellar family. So to herself she said, "They'll always love sweet, beautiful, athletic  
  
Nickey more than me"  
  
Nickey walked into the room where her dad was, "You wanted to see me"  
  
" Yea," as he turned he was amazed at how beautiful his daughter was, "Oh my god,  
  
Nickey, you look absolutely ... stunning... no radiant... your everything and you look so  
  
grown up"  
  
"Is that what you wanted me to come in here for?" she said with a laugh.  
  
"No, did you make a speech for the reception."  
  
"Mmm Hmm, want to hear it?"  
  
"Nah, I want it to be a surprise your speeches are always perfect, so I know it will  
  
be great."  
  
"Thanks dad, I love you"  
  
"I love you, too, pumpkin"  
  
"Okay, I gotta get back mom said she wanted to rehears one more time"  
  
"Well, you better get going the wedding starts in ten minutes"  
  
"Oh my god" she took off running. 


	2. I do

Ch. 2  
  
I Do  
  
Ross was standing at the front of the church, there were about five hundred people  
  
packed into the tiny church. Little Zack was smiling at him. Ross decided to sit him with  
  
his parents because they could hopefully keep him quiet. Ross could see his parents,  
  
Rachel's parents, his friends, Rachel's friends, a couple of parents of friends that the kids  
  
hung out with, but no Joey. He didn't think he would show up. Ever since he and Rachel  
  
broke up because she went to Ross he had never been the same. He tried to get over her  
  
by marrying Phoebe but when Rachel and Ross announced their engagement he left. One  
  
day he wrote a note to Phoebe and just took off, no goodbye, nothing. It hit the group  
  
pretty hard especially Phoebe and Chandler. Ross sent him an invitation hoping he would  
  
show after all he was finally going to marry Rachel.   
  
The music started to play and Ross knew the ceremony was starting he suddenly  
  
became very nervous. As he watched Nate enter with the rings, he became more nervous  
  
than before. Next came Katelynn, she was the flower girl. After her came Chandler with  
  
Monica on one arm and Nickey on the other arm. Ben came in after them with Emma on  
  
one arm and Phoebe. Finally in walked Rachel, the wedding march played softly on a  
  
piano. As she walked in Ross just about died she was so Beautiful. It was like time was  
  
standing still. When she got up to the front her father handed her off just Ross would  
  
someday for Nickey and Emma. "Take care of her Ross"   
  
"I promise" he knew her father meant what he said because he didn't call him Wet  
  
head or Big Spender. He knew if he ever let Rachel down her father would kill him, he  
  
wasn't going to wreck it this time, he had to many chances already.   
  
"We are gathered here today to join Ross Ethan Gellar and Rachel Karen Green in  
  
the bond of holy matrimony. They have chosen to write their own vows. Rachel...:"  
  
"When I first saw you I thought you were just my friends geeky older brother, but  
  
your not. Your everything I could ever want in a husband and ten times more. You are my  
  
best friend, my hero. You are the love of my life and always will be. So when I say I do I  
  
mean I do want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life. Ross you... are my  
  
everything."  
  
"Ross"  
  
"As I stand here today I know that every dream I've ever had has come true.  
  
You've given me so many chances to be with you, and each time I lost you my world  
  
came crashing down. It's always been you. From ninth grade I knew you were the one for  
  
me, that's how positive that I want you and only you for the rest of my life. Rach you  
  
make me life complete. You are the mother of my children, the love of my life and so  
  
many more things I ever could want. I always wanted to tell you this but we weren't on a  
  
break. you were right, I will always love you now and forever" Tears ran down Rachel's  
  
cheek and Ross wiped them.  
  
" Do you Rachel take thee Ross as you husband for richer or poorer, through  
  
sickness and health all the days of your life."  
  
"I do"  
  
"Do you Ross take thee Rachel as your wife for richer or poorer, through sickness  
  
and health all the days of your life?"  
  
"I Do!"  
  
"The rings" At this Nickey had handed the ring to Rachel who placed it on Ross'  
  
finger. Then Chandler had given the ring to Ross who placed the ring on Rachel's finger.  
  
"I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride "At these  
  
words Ross grabbed Rachel and kissed her. The wedding march played and they exited.  
  
This time Rachel and Ross lead followed by Nickey and Ben, then Chandler and Monica  
  
were was carrying little Katelynn, then Emma and Nate, then Phoebe.  
  
Out side Ross and Rachel were being congratulated by everyone. The kids were all  
  
standing around. talking.  
  
Can you believe this is happening?" Ben asked his siblings.  
  
"I can, they are meant for each other" Nickey answered.  
  
"Me too, I'm just glad our plan worked" Emma added.  
  
"What plan?' Nate asked.  
  
"Um...well.."  
  
What did you guys do"  
  
"Remember two Christmases ago.......They all remembered this day very clearly.  
  
Christmas eve Nickey and Ben had went to a party after pretending to be sick. Nate and  
  
Emma tried to cover for them but wound up getting angry at them and telling Ross. Ross  
  
drove to the party and picked them up. Nickey put up a fight as she always did when she  
  
was with Ross. Ross sat them both down, and talked to them. Ben crashed on the couch.  
  
Nickey and Ross stayed up talking all night. They had patched their relationship up, you  
  
see when Ross left Rachel a the altar Nickey had sided with Rachel and refused to talk to  
  
Ross. The next day Rachel was relieved to find out that Nickey was okay. (Nickey and  
  
Ben had stayed at Joey's with "the flu", Joey wound crashing on the floor in Monica and  
  
Chandler's. Rachel found early the next morning that Ben and Nickey were missing) Ross  
  
and Rachel hadn't spoken much since their big fight a couple years before this. So when  
  
Ross hadn't called Rachel to tell her what Nickey had done and that she was okay, Rachel  
  
had been furious. The fought all day. Christmas was ruined for everybody. That day the  
  
rest of them had talked about why they fought each other when deep down they were still  
  
in love. "Well, I hated seeing mom and dad fight so I pulled Emma into the our room and  
  
we talked. We decided we had to get help"  
  
"So I got Aunt Monica to help with mom and Uncle Chandler to help with dad"  
  
Ben was amazed at how smart his sisters were. To him they were perfect although  
  
he was closer to Nickey because she was closer to his age. "You guys are geniuses"  
  
"Kids come here" Ross called to the children. They all came running over. "We're  
  
going to have the photographer take some pictures, so we need to get going if we're  
  
gonna make the reception in time. So kids you go in the first limo and we'll be in the  
  
second."  
  
They got into the limos On the ride over Rachel and Ross had a conversation  
  
about kids. "Do you want more kids?"  
  
"Only with you"  
  
"I love you Mrs. Gellar."  
  
"About this kids things what are you getting at"   
  
"Well we have three boys and two girls we're kind of uneven."  
  
"So"  
  
"I just wondered if we could have one more"  
  
"Maybe later, let's concentration on us first"  
  
"God I love this woman" He passionately kissed her.  
  
The window rolled down and the driver said they arrived.  
  
The wedding pictures were taken at the hotel in a room. Oliver was the  
  
photographer, right away you knew he was a man of business. He began by making  
  
Rachel sitting on Ross' lap, then Nickey and Emma were sitting back to back in front of  
  
them. He placed Zack in front of them. Nate was standing on the right and Ben was on the  
  
left. It took a long to get the family to get into this order. Then he took one with each  
  
child. Then the wedding party. After all that work it was time for Rachel and Ross'  
  
pictures. This took around two hours.  
  
Finally when they finished up it was off to the reception hall.  
  
"This is it Rach we're going to be pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Gellar for the first  
  
time."  
  
"I was Mrs. Gellar all along"  
  
"God I love you"  
  
"I love you too."  
  
The kissed and then walked into the reception hall. "Mr. and Mrs. Gellar ladies and  
  
Gentleman" The DJ said.   
  
They had all taken their seats and the food was passed out. After a while Chandler  
  
stood up to give his Best Man speech.  
  
" Hi, everybody I'm Chandler Bing. I've known Ross since college and I've seen  
  
him the happiest when Rachel is by his side. He smiles to no end. They are meant for each  
  
other. So here is to Ross and Rachel." Chandler sat down and Nickey stood up.  
  
"I'm Nickey, My mom and Dad or Ross and Rachel have been off and on again a  
  
lot but now they're finally together forever. When I look at my parents I see love. The  
  
way the look at each other, the simple touch, the way they talk about each other  
  
everything they do for each other is Love, pure, true, eternal love. When I look at them I  
  
hope I have the same thing they have. So, here is to Mom and Dad, thank you for showing  
  
us the perfect example of love." Rachel was already crying and Ross was amazed by his  
  
daughter. Monica, Phoebe and a lot of other people were crying.  
  
"She gets her speech skills from her father" Judy said to Jack.  
  
Ben stood up next, "I think Nickey said what we all wanted to, So we all (the rest  
  
of the kids gathered around the microphone) want to say to Mom and Dad.  
  
Next Monica stood up," This is a very special wedding to me because my big  
  
brother is finally married to the woman of his dreams, who happens to be my best friend,  
  
so here is to my Big Brother and My best Friend." Phoebe should have talked next but  
  
passed because she was to weepy.   
  
Their first dance came next, they had picked out the song At last my love has come  
  
along. Then after that the DJ said they were to have a family Dance. Rachel danced with  
  
Nate and Emma danced with Ross. Nickey and Ben danced together. Zack was on Ross  
  
shoulders it was picture perfect. But that was all three and a half years ago..... 


	3. Now

3  
  
What has happened  
  
The wedding was wonderful everything was perfect. Ross and Rachel went on  
  
their honeymoon and everything was going great until Monica called.   
  
"Hey, Ross" her voice sounded deep and sad.  
  
"Monica what's wrong"   
  
"Ross I won't say much but you and Rachel have to come home as soon as you  
  
can. It's Emma and it's important"  
  
"Okay, we get out on the next flight"  
  
Ross had hung up the phone and wondered what exactly it cold be. He told Rachel  
  
who immediately began to panic. They packed in a hurry and got home on the earliest  
  
flight. Once they got to back to their apartment there was a note on the table it was  
  
scribbled as if written in a hurry  
  
Mom, Dad,  
  
Meet us at the hospital. It's emergency, but don't panic, I'll meet you in  
  
the lobby.I love you Nickey  
  
They got to the hospital as fast as they could. They saw Ben sitting in a big chair  
  
with Nickey sitting on his lap with a devastated look. Rachel ran over to her. "Honey  
  
what's wrong" Nickey said nothing for a few minutes, she just got up and hugged Rachel  
  
the minute she saw her. Ben got up and talked to Ross "I'll take you to her and Aunt  
  
Monica can tell you. Rachel gave Ross a look as if to listen to Ben and go. After a few  
  
minutes Nickey lifted up her head and tried to tell Rachel what was going on." Mom  
  
---Emma and I were riding our bikes home from the movies---- and ---- I ----turned  
  
around----and she was--- laying on the-ground. I didn't know what to do. ---------I ran  
  
over to her--- and she wouldn't wake up. --- I looked for a phone but I just was  
  
paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. --- Mommy Emma has cancer." At this Rachel  
  
almost collapsed on the floor, but she knew she had to be strong at that moment for  
  
Nickey.  
  
Together they walked up to the waiting room Nickey was still glued to Rachel.  
  
She always depended on her in situations like this, in fact they kind of depended on each  
  
other. When they got upstairs sweet little Zack was asleep in Monica's arms. Seeing this  
  
Rachel looked at her watch, it was two o'clock in the morning. She also noticed Nate  
  
sleeping next to Monica in a chair and Katelynn was asleep too. Ben was rocking her back  
  
and forth, his eyes looked red like he had been crying. Daniel, he was a mini Chandler. He  
  
was of course always wanting to do something funny. At this time he was pulling on  
  
Chandler who was trying to comfort Monica.  
  
"Thank God your finally here"  
  
"Mon can I see her?"  
  
"Well I think Ross is in there but you could slip in" Monica carefully gave Zack to  
  
Chandler and grabbed Daniel by his hand. Daniel always listened to her. She showed  
  
Rachel to the room, "It'll be okay Rach, Don't worry we're all here for you."   
  
She got a little teary eyed and Monica gave her a hug "Thanks Mon." She walked  
  
into the room. At first she didn't she him but she heard a soft crying and turned in the  
  
corner. Ross was sitting on the floor holding his hand which was bloody. "Oh, God, honey  
  
what happened?"  
  
"I got really upset, so I went into the bathroom and wound up hitting the door  
  
really hard."  
  
"Can you move it?"  
  
"No, I think I broke it" he started to cry even more. He hide that fact from Rachel  
  
trying to act strong and Protective. She saw right through him, she bent down and wiped  
  
away his tears. He smiled at her for a second but then slowly stood up. "How did this  
  
happen a week and a half ago we were so happy."  
  
"I know honey, I'm so sorry" She looked into his eyes, "We're a complete family  
  
now and together we will make it through this, I promise you. Now we need to get your  
  
hand fixed up."  
  
"I'll be fine you stay here with Emma in case she wakes up." He went to go and  
  
leave, but he turned around and kissed her, "I love you Rach"  
  
"I love you too"  
  
Rachel sat there alone in the silence of the room, the monitors were beeping and  
  
you could hear Emma breathing. Her attention turned toward her daughter, her young  
  
body so pale and lifeless. She was so innocent and peaceful, the thought of having Emma  
  
go through pain and suffering was devastating. Rachel became mad at the world and at  
  
God. It had seemed like all was lost when Emma's eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Mommy"   
  
"Oh, Baby, Mommy's right here I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Where's Daddy"  
  
"He, uhh, just went to, uhh, get Nickey and Nate something from the cafeteria"  
  
"Oh, is Nickey up I really need to talk to her. I have seen her since well, you  
  
know" she didn't want to talk about what happened and Rachel knew that. Nickey was  
  
who Emma confided in, she made Nickey feel needed.  
  
"Yea, she is, I'll go get her" Rachel walked into the waiting room again. She felt  
  
rejected by Emma but at the same time she understood why Emma needed to talk to  
  
Nickey. Nickey was standing in the corner sitting with Ben, who was comforting her. He  
  
had been a very quiet but, a huge help.  
  
"Nickey, sweetie, I think you should go see Emma. Are you okay?"  
  
"Yea, I'll be fine" She wiped away her tears immediately and entered Emma's  
  
room. "Hey Em"  
  
"Nickey!" they hugged and Nickey sat down in her chair." I need to tell you  
  
something. I .. had the pains for a while now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you it's,"  
  
"It's okay I understand, you wanted all of us to concentrate on the wedding didn't  
  
you?"  
  
"I didn't want any one to fuss over me I thought they would go away. I didn't  
  
mean to lie please don't be mad."  
  
"I can't believe that you would lie to me but trust me I'm not mad. I just glad your  
  
okay now." Nickey stood up as to go.  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure" see sat down immediately.  
  
"Is it wrong to be mad at the world for giving me this, I mean am I being selfish"  
  
"No your not, no one wants to get or even have cancer. We don't want you to  
  
have it and I'm sure everyone else feels the same way. I'd be the same way."  
  
"Nickey, that really made me feel better, I think I'm going to fight it, but I so  
  
sacred of dying."  
  
"Don't worry about it, I'll be with you through every part of it. I promise" she  
  
leaned into give her a hug. She knew Emma was sacred out of her mind. A tear ran down  
  
Emma's cheek and Nickey wiped it away. "That's what big sisters are for" She went to  
  
walk out so Emma could get some rest.   
  
"You guy aren't going home are you?"  
  
"Not with out you" she smiled and once again tried to leave.  
  
"Nickey, I love you"  
  
"I love you too"  
  
She walked into the hall, she noticed her father, he seemed so weak but he tried to  
  
hide it. His hand was in a cast. Ben was talking to Nate who was now up. He didn't quite  
  
understand what cancer was. Monica and Chandler were talking to Rachel and explaining  
  
the details other. Ross walked over to her and put his arms around her as he always did.  
  
Chandler was holding Daniel, who was know finally asleep, and when he was asleep he  
  
was adorable. Monica was carrying little Katelynn, Nickey noticed her coat was on. She  
  
walked over and Ross and Rachel pulled her into their little group. "Aunt Monica are you  
  
guys leaving?"  
  
"Yea, Uncle Chandler has to go to work at eight. I'll be back later. I'm going to  
  
take Zack and Nate to get some sleep, your welcome to come too."  
  
"No thanks I would rather stay here"  
  
"Ya, sure, you can have a piggy back" Uncle Chandler told her trying to make her  
  
smile, which she did. "See I got out of you" He gave a hug then picked up Daniel and  
  
Monica handed him the keys to the van.  
  
"Guys, If you need anything please, call me." She picked up Katelynn, "We'll be  
  
back up for them in a second we have to get them buckled in first.  
  
Ross let go of Rachel and Nickey. "I can carry Nate, that's the least I can do"  
  
"I can carry Zack, Dad' Nickey chimed in.  
  
"Thanks you guys" They all walked out to the car. Chandler already had Daniel  
  
buckled in the back. He took Katelynn and buckled her into her car seat. Then he took  
  
Zack and Buckled him into a carseat, While Nickey helped Ross buckle Nate in.  
  
"Thanks you guys, this is a big help." Ross gave Monica a hug and a kiss. Than  
  
gave he and Chandler hugged.  
  
"Hang in there man"  
  
"Come here sweetie, " gave Nickey a big hug. "It was a great week and if you  
  
ever need anything, even if it's four in the morning and you want to talk just call."  
  
"Thanks Aunt Monica" She walked over to Ross and they waved good bye.  
  
Together Ross and Nickey walked back to the waiting room. Ben and Rachel were sitting  
  
down, apparently Ben got coffee.   
  
"Did they say anything?" Ross said sitting next to Rachel.  
  
"No, all they said is she's going to have surgery to remove the tumor, then have a  
  
couple rounds of kemo hopefully to keep if from come back."  
  
"I'm scared" Nickey had not shared her opinion until now. She broke down in  
  
tears, it had been killing her inside but she knew she had to be strong.   
  
Ross sat her of his lap, "Honey it'll be okay I promise. Please, don't cry" Rachel  
  
now started to cry. She hugged Ben then the four of them huddled together to comfort  
  
each other, and this wouldn't be the last time.   
  
Emma had Surgery and kemo for about six months. The family fought through it  
  
together, often huddling together to comfort one another. After all this you think they  
  
would finally be okay. I mean Emma's cancer was gone and most of them had worked  
  
past it. One part of each of them was still worried about Emma.   
  
Rachel and Ross spent a lot more time with the kids. They went on a vacation as  
  
soon as Emma's cancer was gone to the Caribbean. They invited Monica, Chandler and  
  
their kids along. They also invited Phoebe and the kids but Joey sent her passes to his next  
  
movie premiere. He sent three of them not knowing about little Joey, so Phoebe thought it  
  
was time to tell him.  
  
So they went on vacation the same day Phoebe went to California. They flew out  
  
on a small plane where the eleven of them almost took up half the plane. Nickey, Rachel  
  
and Emma (sitting in that order) played travel games. Ben and Ross talked about science  
  
stuff, while Zack sat in between them playing with dinosaurs. Nate and Daniel played  
  
cards with chandler. Monica just kept going back and forth because she hated sitting  
  
alone. Once they got there they were amazed. The water was a beautiful dazzling blue and  
  
it was like paradise.  
  
"I'm going to get a great tan here." Nickey said Heading for the lobby.  
  
"What do ya say we go the beach later." Rachel added in.   
  
They had four rooms so it was kind of a tight squeeze. Monica and Chandler had  
  
their own room, so they weren't complaining. Nickey, Emma, and Katelynn, shared a  
  
room and Ben, Nate, and Daniel shared a room. Rachel, Ross and Daniel shared another  
  
room. So for a week and a half they parted at the beach. Ross brought a camcorder and  
  
recorded the whole week. Ross, Chandler and Ben grabbed Monica, Rachel, Nickey and  
  
Emma and through them into the water. It was hilarious.  
  
There last night there they had a formal dinner where the kids could bring dates,  
  
see the resort was like a planned thing (kind of like a cruise ship.). Nickey brought a guy  
  
named Toby , he was sweet, good-looking, and a total gentleman. Emma brought a guy  
  
named Jason, he was just as good as Toby, if not better. Nate found a little girl named  
  
Trista, she cute and smart. Ben brought a girl named Jaden, she was nice and pretty too.  
  
Ross and Rachel were proud of the choices their kids made. Daniel brought a girl named  
  
Natalie she was very mannerly and clean she reminded everyone of a little Monica. The  
  
dinner went great. Once they got done they all split up. Nickey and Emma took their dates  
  
to a teen dance. Ben took the kids to the kiddy area, then he took Jaden for a walk. Ross  
  
and Rachel went up to their room for some "alone time"   
  
The next morning Rachel woke the girls (Emma and Nickey) up early and Ross  
  
woke the boys (Zack, Ben, and Nate) so they could go on a family outing. They started  
  
out by playing volleyball. Rachel and Emma were captains.  
  
"Rach you go first" Ross said starting off the game.  
  
"Ahh, okay Nickey"  
  
"Sweetie why didn't you pick me"   
  
"Daddy, you get picked, Ben your on my team"  
  
"Ross"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"Oh sweetie don't worry this just isn't your game."  
  
"Okay I pick Nate and Zack"  
  
"You can't pick both"  
  
"Well you have two adults so that means we get the bigger team."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"come on let's just play, we gotta beat them. "Nickey said getting agitated because  
  
after all this was volleyball.  
  
"Ross, she has you competitive gene"  
  
"But you athletics" They leaned in and kissed.  
  
"You bunch of sissy's lets play"  
  
"Sounds like Emma has the same gene." Rachel playfully hit Ross.   
  
Nickey served the ball and they volleyed back. They were surprisingly very good.  
  
They played four games. The final score was three to one. The kids had beat them. Nickey  
  
was very upset. "this sucks, how did this happen, you guys why aren't you more upset."  
  
"Sweetie it's just a game"  
  
"Just a game, just a game, volleyball is not just a game believe me"  
  
"Okay, Okay calm down let's got for a walk shall we." Rachel put an arm around  
  
Nickey and Emma. Ross put Nate on his shoulders and Ben put Zack on his.  
  
"Let's go"  
  
They walked for a long time around the beach and through a nature trail. They  
  
wound up coming back to the hotel around noon. Rachel was carrying a sleeping Zack.  
  
Ross was carrying a sleeping Nickey and Ben was carrying Emma who was also asleep.  
  
Nate was still a big ball of energy.   
  
At around 1:00 they all met in the lobby. Nickey and Emma were still asleep but  
  
Rachel woke them up to take a shower and change. The plane ride home was very quiet.  
  
Chandler and Monica had fallen fast asleep together, Ante and Daniel were playing video  
  
games. The only sound you could hear out of those two was the sound of the video  
  
games. Ross had also fallen sleep. Even though he was sitting in back with Ben (who was  
  
listening to his C.D. player and Katelynn who was playing with a barbie. Rachel had just  
  
covered Zack up and she turned to her right, where Nickey and Emma were sleeping still.  
  
She watched as her daughters breathed in and out. They were so peaceful, now she knew  
  
why Monica had loved her kids so much. Rachel smiled then closed her eyes too. She  
  
couldn't stop thinking how perfect everything was again.   
  
~*~  
  
Phoebe had left for California the day before the premiere. She was nervous and  
  
tense. Her love for Joey had never faded. Joey and Phoebe had shared the same bond,  
  
both of them were madly in love with the wrong person. Phoebe couldn't get Joey out of  
  
her head. You could show anything and it would remind of Joey. Everyday when she  
  
looked at her kids, especially little Joey she thought of him.   
  
Joey on the other hand was still madly in Love with Rachel. The thought of her  
  
with Ross made him ache. He thought he had lost the love when he married Phoebe but  
  
when Ross and Rachel came in that night he broke down. Rachel was happy with Ross but  
  
he couldn't face that. He knew she would ultimately wind up with Ross. The next day  
  
when he saw Rachel going through the wedding catalogue it made him realize he was only  
  
hurting Phoebe. He hadn't really seen her since the night before he left. He remembered  
  
kissing her goodbye. Sometimes he wondered how it would have been different if he  
  
wouldn't have left. Joey suddenly snapped into reality, it was six o'clock, Phoebe and the  
  
kids would be there in a hour and he still hadn't gotten the apartment ready. He quickly  
  
picked up the place. He laid out two sleeping bags on the floor. The were powerpuff girls,  
  
the last he had knew, the girls had loved them. He ordered pizza and put the child block  
  
on the TV No one knew his password, it was Rachel, no one in California knew about her.  
  
At exactly seven o'clock there was a knock at the door, he knew it was her. He looked in  
  
the mirror, combed back his hair and fixed his shirt. He opened the door.  
  
"Hello"  
  
"Hi" She was holding little Joey and Maddie had ran to the sleeping bags out on  
  
the floor, P.J. following right behind her.   
  
"Come in and sit down, you want anything, I got Pop, Juice, milk, beer, tea, herbal  
  
crap."  
  
"I fine but I think the girls could use some pop."  
  
"Joey had noticed the difference in the tone of Phoebe's voice. It wasn't cheery  
  
and fun, it was more responsible and educated. "Girls do want anything?"  
  
"Pop"  
  
"No pop before dinner, you know the rules"   
  
"Mommy says no pop, I got Juice"  
  
"yea" the girls continued to play with there new sleeping stuff.  
  
"Does he need anything?"  
  
"His formula is in my bag but could you bring me some water."  
  
"Sure" Joey suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He knew Phoebe was still mad but  
  
obviously she had gotten over him. He came back with two pink sippie cups and a glass of  
  
water. "Here you go girls."  
  
"Thank you, ---ahh"  
  
"Daddy" Phoebe put in.  
  
"Yea, Daddy" Joey handed her the glass of water, what had he been missing, his  
  
own daughter didn't know what to call him.  
  
"Sorry about that, Joey, she's just, well you know, it's hard for her to adjust when  
  
she knows she leaving in a few days."  
  
"Don't worry about, who's this little guy?"  
  
"Joey, he was I need to talk to you about"  
  
"What about him" Joey was still Joey after all.  
  
" Joey he's yours."  
  
Joey's mouth dropped open and he froze millions of thoughts came rushing  
  
through his. "When, What, how, huh"  
  
"Calm down your starting to sound like Ross. Look this is completely up to you  
  
no pressure"  
  
"Look I just need time to think. I'm gonna go out for a while. I'll be back in a  
  
couple of hours here's forty dollars, I ordered a pizza." He left quickly without another.  
  
The whole night was spent in silence and the next day was no different, except  
  
Joey suddenly tried to be a real father. At the premiere Joey sat on his lap, Maddie curled  
  
up with him during the scary parts, and he got up to get them whatever they needed.  
  
"Phoebe I was thinking, I love my kids, so I was thinking I could have them during  
  
the summers or something"  
  
"Why don't you come back to New York?"  
  
"I can't, I would if I could but I can't"  
  
"You know what your still in love with Rachel, Why do you stand around try and  
  
get over, go talk to her, do something. You can't have them for the summers so you better  
  
figure out how to live around them." At that she picked up Joey and took P.J. and  
  
Maddie, they packed and flew back to New York.  
  
~*~  
  
When Phoebe got home the rest of them weren't home yet. She put the kids to bed  
  
and cried, she couldn't figure out how her life had went this way. She loved Joey so much  
  
and she wanted anything to make him happy. Rachel was the only person who could snap  
  
him out of it, and she knew it. She fell asleep crying into her pillow.   
  
The next morning she was woken up early by little Joey. She made him a bottle  
  
and put him back to sleep. It was 8:00 and Maddie would be up soon followed by P.J. five  
  
minutes later. Phoebe decided to make breakfast. Today was the day the rest of them  
  
came home. She needed to spill it to Monica and Rachel.   
  
After they had all finished breakfast she got them dressed, took them to the park,  
  
and brought them home for a nap. Around four o'clock they were all watching TV when  
  
Katelynn came in.  
  
"P.J. I missed you," the girls gave a big hug followed by the rest of them coming  
  
in.  
  
"Hey Pheebs" They exchanged hugs then sat down for about five minutes.  
  
"So how was it, you guys all look tan."  
  
"It was amazing, the water was this brilliant diamond like blue, and the sand was  
  
perfect. They had some pretty hot guys there too."  
  
"Okay Nickey it wasn't that great" Rachel said gently slapping her daughters arm.  
  
"It was pretty great though wasn't it Rach" Ross said giving Rachel a passionate  
  
look.  
  
"Eww" squealed the kids, "Dad, that part of the trip we didn't want to hear."  
  
Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe just laughed.  
  
"Well we haven't had dinner yet so we better get home" Rachel added.  
  
"Yea we're all pretty tired, it's been a long day." they all hugged Ross, Rachel and  
  
the kids goodbye. Ross then put Nickey on his back and Ben put Emma on his, "Race  
  
you" They took off down the stairs, Rachel yelled to them, "You better be careful I don't  
  
want to take your father to the emergency room," She laughed and they left.  
  
"Wow, they are really happy aren't they?"  
  
"Mon, we're just as happy as they are"  
  
"I know I'm mean after all they've been through, it just seems that they really  
  
work together, plus I've never seen Ross this happy."  
  
"I'm glad they're that happy, they deserve it. You guys have known them both for  
  
a long time and if this is the happiest they've ever been I hope their trouble is over."  
  
"Pheebs you don't sound so happy how'd it go with Joey"  
  
"Well it was weird and I wound up leaving early"  
  
"Oh, Sweetie we're sorry"  
  
"That's okay, I think I finally got over him."  
  
"Good, you deserve to be happy too"  
  
"Mon I think we better get going too, Katelynn is drooling on me and Daniel over  
  
there is getting T-I-R-E-D. "  
  
"See you later Pheebs"  
  
"Bye guys"  
  
A few months have passed since then and all has been going great. Nate was  
  
starting Indoor soccer and Ben had just finished up with football. Nickey was now in High  
  
school and she to had just finished cheerleading, she was now trying out for volleyball.  
  
Emma won a medal for skating and was doing better in school. Zack got interested in  
  
Ross' dinosaur collection. Ross wouldn't let that go. Ben joined science Olympiad.  
  
One day Rachel and Nickey went to the coffeehouse. Ross took Emma, Nate, and  
  
Zack to the park with Chandler, Daniel, and Katelynn. Monica and Phoebe took Maddie,  
  
P.J., and Joey to their doctors appointments.   
  
"So sweetie what are we going to do today?"  
  
"I think we should just sit and drink our coffee"  
  
"Or go shopping!"  
  
"Nah, let's just sit here and talk"  
  
"Do you feel okay, you love to go shopping especially with me?"  
  
"I'm fine but why don't we sit around and talk anymore"  
  
"We did on vacation."  
  
"But now that we're back we don't talk at all. It's like we've grown apart"  
  
"That's not true" There was a long pause and Rachel knew it was true, when she  
  
found out Emma had cancer she decided not to let her daughter slip away with out her  
  
knowing how much she loved her. Nickey had been put aside and Rachel's attention was  
  
shifted towards Emma. Ross and Rachel both focused on Emma, they had even forgot to  
  
pick Ben and Nickey up from school. They we always saying Emma this and Emma that.  
  
Rachel knew she had to fix the problem because deep down Nickey held a special place in  
  
her heart. She was thinking when from behind her she heard a voice.   
  
"Hello"  
  
Rachel turned around to see Joey, the real Joey. "Oh my God" without saying  
  
anything else he kissed her, right in front of Nickey. Nickey sat there in shock, She got up  
  
and noticed her father standing in the corner.... 


	4. falling apart

Ch.4  
  
Falling Apart  
  
Ross rushed out of the coffeehouse. "No daddy wait" Nickey followed him, at  
  
these words Rachel had slapped Joey.  
  
"I'm happily married what the hell are you doing.?"  
  
"Rachel, I still love, and I know you love me too, don't lie"  
  
"Joey, I'm not lying, I love Ross with all my heart, that's why I took him back.  
  
Joey I thought I loved you. I'm sorry I made you think that but I don't. Ross means  
  
everything to me, you have to except that. We are never, ever going to happen. If anything  
  
ever happened to Ross I'd be devastated. My life couldn't go on without him, and right  
  
now I need to go after him before I lose him. Goodbye Joey " She grabbed Nickey's coat  
  
since she had ran out so fast and then grabbed her coat. "Joey," his head shot up "I think  
  
you should stay away from me and my family for now, we've been through a lot and we  
  
don't need this too." She walked out of the coffeehouse. Joey knew he had to get over  
  
her. He had to, his life wouldn't be normal if he didn't. Joey looked at the door that  
  
Rachel had just walked out of, he knew that would probably be the last time he saw her,  
  
and he suddenly felt his heart feel ... relieved. It was over for good, he now really believed  
  
she didn't love him  
  
Rachel ran her heart out, her mind continued to wonder. How much of that had  
  
Ross saw, would he except that is was nothing. She worried that he married would be  
  
over because of Joey, she hated him right now. She loved Ross how could he do this.   
  
Rachel looked all over she couldn't find Ross or Nickey. She decided to go over to  
  
Monica's.  
  
"Joey kissed me"  
  
"Oh no Rachel not Joey"  
  
"Monica don't worry I told Joey to stay away from me and my family, I love Ross  
  
to much, to lose him"  
  
"Thank God but what are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know I've looked all over, I can't even find Nickey."  
  
"She's going to get sick, she doesn't have a coat on."  
  
"I'm going to go find her, but do where the rest of the kids are, they weren't with  
  
Ross?"  
  
"I wasn't supposed to say anything but Ross dropped the kids off at your mom's ,  
  
he was going to take you out to dinner tonight, just you and him."  
  
"Oh, God, what have I done" She started to cry, she grabbed Nickey's coat and  
  
left to go find her.  
  
"Rachel it'll be okay" Monica knew she wasn't going to be okay. Joey had came  
  
back for her, she suddenly became very angry at him too.  
  
Rachel finally found Ross, he was at the museum. "How did you find me here?"  
  
"You always said you came to the museum to think because it was the easiest  
  
place to do it."  
  
"So"  
  
"Ross, look, I know your probably really angry but come on Joey, I don't love  
  
him. I love you, he kissed me you can even ask Nickey. I mean you did talk to her right"  
  
"No, she caught up to me and I told her to stay out of it, she didn't need to be  
  
thrown in the middle again... Why?"  
  
"Nickey's not here with you?"  
  
"No, I told her to go with you"  
  
"She never came back to me"  
  
"So you have no clue where she is?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Well, this is just great, how did you lose her  
  
"I didn't lose her she took of after you, then I did too. I went all over trying to find  
  
you and her." there was another long pause and Rachel brought Nickey coat from behind  
  
her back, "Ross"  
  
"What" he looked up noticing her coat. "We'll find her." He took Rachel into his  
  
arms, he was still angry at her but they had a daughter to find.  
  
They looked all over at around eight o'clock Monica called Ross' cell phone. "I  
  
found her, she's at our place."  
  
"I just called your parents, where on earth did you go?"  
  
"Well, I didn't have my keys, and I didn't want to come here in case I saw Uncle  
  
Joey. I am so mad at him, if anything bad happens with mom and dad I'll kill him" Nickey  
  
started to cry and Monica hugged her trying to let her know it would okay.   
  
"Oh honey thank god your okay," Rachel ran over to her and hugged her like she  
  
hadn't seen her in years, "Your so cold but you forehead is burning up do you feel okay?"  
  
"Yea, I'm fine" She was lying, she felt absolutely terrible. Her ears ached, her  
  
throat was swollen, her stomach was turning, it was hard to breath, and she felt very  
  
dizzy. "Are you to okay?"  
  
"Yea, we're fine" Ross couldn't believe Rachel had just said that. He was furious,  
  
she had just kissed Joey, the only reason they had been apart for some many years.  
  
"Chandler, where's my buddy" Joey had walked in and instantly noticed Rachel.  
  
"Joey, what did I tell you"  
  
"Look, Rach, your going to have to live with the fact that these are my friends  
  
too"  
  
"Well your going to have to live with the fact that I love Ross and you need" Ross  
  
got up and walked out, how could she say that after all she had done today "Ross, Ross!"  
  
Rachel took off running right after him.  
  
"Here we go again" Nickey got up to leave but Monica grabbed her.  
  
"You may have fooled your parents but you didn't fool me, I know your sick.  
  
Now lay down, they'll be okay"  
  
"Joey, I think you need to leave them alone for a while"  
  
"Don't tell me you stand by them"  
  
"Ross is my brother, Rachel is the love of his life and they are finally together for  
  
good. Rachel is my best friend and my sister-in-law, she loves Ross and she always will. I  
  
think you need to stay away for a while... from all of us."  
  
"I can't believe your saying this, I'm sure chandler doesn't feel this way"  
  
"Chandler doesn't feel what way?" He kissed Monica on the cheek  
  
"Is this place a swinging door or what" she then went to get some stuff for Nickey.  
  
"Chandler tell me that Ross and Rachel need to deal with me."  
  
"I'm really sorry Joey but I'm with them on this one. They are in love and after all  
  
they've been through they deserve happiness. When you walked out of our lives years ago  
  
you said goodbye to all of your close friendships. Your still one of my good friends, but I  
  
think it's best you stay away. I'm really sorry man" he stuck out his hand, "Bye:" Joey just  
  
slammed the door and left. How could Chandler, his best friend, chandler do this to him.  
  
"Pheebs it's Joey open the door"  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
'I came back to sort things out."  
  
"I'm finally over Rachel for good, I know she doesn't love me and I'm fine with  
  
that."  
  
"Are you really?"  
  
He looked deep into her eyes, "Yes." There was a pause of silence "Move to  
  
California with me, let's work it out, if not for our sake, then for our kids,...please"  
  
"Okay" Had she really just said that, she did and she meant it.  
  
~*~  
  
"Ross, Ross, stop"  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Why are you so mad, I thought you understood that he kissed me?"  
  
"But you didn't push him away"  
  
"Yes I did, Ross look at me," she grabbed his coat and looked into his eyes, "I  
  
love you and only you, believe me." She kissed.  
  
"Rach, I love you, but you know how I feel about Joey"  
  
"I know I'm so sorry, can we just forget it ever happened?"  
  
"No, but I'll deal with it"  
  
"Thank you, I love you."  
  
"I love you too"  
  
They walked back to Monica and Chandler's talking about how much they loved  
  
each other.  
  
"Hey M"  
  
"Shhhhh!, I just got her to sleep"  
  
"Thanks Monica, where's Chandler?"  
  
"He's helping Phoebe pack"  
  
"Where is she going"  
  
"She moving to California with Joey. Don't worry it's for the best, Joey can be  
  
with the kids and he won't be in the way of you guys."  
  
"Well we better say good bye to Pheebs"  
  
"She said she'd cll you when she got there"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I think we should get heading home then Nickey and Ben have school tomorrow,  
  
plus she has her first game" Ross said picking his daughter up gently.  
  
"Bye Mon, thanks for everything" they whispered.  
  
Nickey woke the next morning still feeling sick. "Honey, Do you want to got to  
  
school?"  
  
"Mom I have to go if I want to play in the game tonight" Nickey got up and got  
  
dressed.  
  
"Nickey, you remembered I can't be there because I have to take Emma to a check  
  
up right."  
  
"I know it's just, it's the first game I can't miss it."  
  
"Okay but if you feel any worse call me."  
  
At around three o'clock Rachel and Emma were on the way to the doctors when  
  
her phone rang, "Mom, it's Nickey, I got starting server. I wish you could be here."  
  
"I'll see what I can do, okay"  
  
"Okay, I love you"  
  
"I love you too, Good Luck, sweetheart." she hung up the phone, "Nickey got  
  
starting server.  
  
"I wish I could be there"  
  
"Me too, Em"  
  
"Hey call dad and have him go tape it."  
  
"Good idea," she picked her phone, "Hey sweetie it's me Emma and I are on our  
  
way to the Doctors but Nickey called and said she got starting server, will you go and tape  
  
it for us."  
  
"You will thanks, sweetie, bye"  
  
Ross grabbed the recorder and headed down to Nickey's High school. "Hey,  
  
sweetheart, mom and Emma can't make it but, I'm going to tape it and we'll all watch it  
  
later."  
  
"Okay, wish me luck" She felt kind of let down but she wanted to play her heart  
  
out so they could see it later.  
  
"Good Luck, princess" He hugged her and she ran onto the court. She played in  
  
the first game and score 12 points. The second game they lost by two. Now they were in  
  
the final game, Mia, served the ball and the team volleyed it back over. Nickey spiked the  
  
ball and it hit the ground for the winning the final point. The whole crowd started to  
  
whisper things and Ross went go focus back on Nickey but there was a crowd around her.  
  
"Nickey!" She was laying lifeless on the ground and she looked very pale. "Somebody  
  
call an ambulance" Ross was in a state of panic. The ambulance came and the took her to  
  
the hospital. Ross left a voice mail to Rachel, telling her to came as fast as she could. Ross  
  
sat in the waiting room.  
  
"Are you Ross Gellar?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Your Nickey's father right?"  
  
" Yea"  
  
"I have some form for you to fill out and I need her full name"  
  
"Her name Nicole Rachel Gellar Green and can you please tell me what the hell is  
  
going on."  
  
"Sir, calm down, your daughter is in one of the worst stages of pneumonia. She  
  
didn't get enough oxygen to her brain, that's why she collapsed. She is now in a Coma.  
  
She will either come out of the coma or..."  
  
"Or what?"   
  
"She may die"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Her brain lacked oxygen for several minutes, now that she in the coma she is  
  
stabilized. The oxygen count in her brain will build up and hopefully make good as new. It  
  
is a hard process though and the chances are small she will fully recover. You told me  
  
earlier she got sick yesterday and for her to get sick this fast her immune system must be  
  
down. So now she must also rebuild that. "  
  
"How long will it take before we know what will happen?"  
  
"Nobody know she will come out of it when her body is ready to. It could be  
  
hours, days, months, or even years."  
  
"Years?"  
  
"I'm sorry sir, I tell you if I find out any further information."  
  
"Can I see her"  
  
"Sure"  
  
Ross walked into the room, Nickey looked as if she was dead. Her face was  
  
glowing with a smile as usual and her eyes were closed so you couldn't see her beautiful  
  
pale blue eyes. She had eyes just like Rachel. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. The  
  
thought of losing Nickey was horrible. The doctor told him she'd have a small chance of  
  
fully recovering and that scared him. Nickey had gotten sick in the first place chasing after  
  
him and making sure he was okay. He decided to try and get a hold of Rachel. He went to  
  
go outside to use his phone but he ran into someone and dropped it. "Oh sorry" he was in  
  
such a state of disbelief he didn't even notice it was Rachel.  
  
"Ross"  
  
"Rachel, oh thank god your here"  
  
"Why, why should you thank god I'm here?"  
  
"It's Nickey"  
  
"What happened did she hurt her wrist or something?"  
  
"Rach I think we should go sit down and talk"  
  
"Why, Ross what happened?"  
  
"Well, Nickey is in the ICU " (Intensive Care Unit)  
  
"Why? How? What? Oh my God"  
  
"Rach calm down, why are you here any ways"  
  
"Emma... had... monthly....test....oh....my.....god"  
  
"Is she okay ?"  
  
"I don't know I came to get her a pop"  
  
"You left her"  
  
"For a second"  
  
"okay, we can't start fighting our kids need us. You go to Nickey and I'll go get  
  
Emma" He started to walk away but Rachel stood there paralyzed in shock just as Ross  
  
had done before. "Rach, It'll be okay we've done it once before we can do it again."  
  
"Why is she here?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why is she in the ICU?"  
  
"She has a stage on pneumonia"  
  
"How bad is it?"  
  
"Bad"  
  
"Can I go talk to her?"  
  
"No"  
  
"What why not?"  
  
"She is in a coma"  
  
Rachel stood there in shock, the ICU was bad enough but a coma. How could  
  
Nickey be in a coma, Rachel sent her to school and she was fine. It then suddenly hit her,  
  
instead of keeping her sick child home she sent her to school. "I'm a terrible mother"  
  
"What no your not"  
  
"I sent her to school"  
  
"That doesn't mean anything the doctors said her immune system was down and  
  
that's why she got sick so fast, you had nothing to do with it."  
  
"Will.....she be......okay?"  
  
"It doesn't look good"  
  
"What do you mean it doesn't look good"  
  
"Her brain has a big lack of oxygen and she might get it she might not. It all  
  
depends on her body."  
  
"How soon will we know?"  
  
"It could take quite a while possible even years."  
  
"You mean she might never come out of it?"  
  
"She also has the possibility of dying"  
  
"She....could........die" Ross took Rachel in his arms, he felt so helpless. They both  
  
did. 


	5. saying goodbye

Ch.5  
  
Good Bye  
  
"Hey sweetie"  
  
"Dad, where's mom?  
  
"Oh, she just had to umm, get, some umm, stuff.  
  
"Some stuff?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Well, where's Nickey, did she play good?  
  
"Yea, she played great, but what do you say we get going"  
  
"The doctor said he needed to speak to one of my parents before I was able to  
  
go."  
  
"Oh, well I'm here"   
  
"Dad why are you acting so weird?"  
  
"No reason"  
  
"Hello Mr., Gellar"  
  
"Hello, Dr. Jekries, you needed to speak to me."  
  
"Where's Mrs. Gellar?"  
  
"She with our other daughter downstairs, she is really sick"  
  
"Well I need to talk to you in private."  
  
"Ahh, okay" they walked into the hall "You scared me for a minute there, I  
  
thought you need to talk to me about something bad."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Gellar if I threw you of but I do have bad news. Emma's  
  
cancer is back and this time it has spread."  
  
"What can we do?"  
  
"Well I've talked to Emma about it and she said she doesn't want to fight it again.  
  
So unless you don't respect your daughter decision then there is nothing we can do except  
  
make her comfortable."  
  
"So she knows."  
  
"Yes, she knew already, she said she knew it was back, she had a feeling."  
  
"You can't tell her if she's right or not. She's a minor"  
  
"I didn't your daughter overheard me speaking to another doctor, she's very clever  
  
you know"  
  
"Thanks, Thanks a lot"  
  
"You can go now and if she has any pain give her aspirin for now. I warn you  
  
though she doesn't have much time maybe a month or two."  
  
Ross couldn't believe what he just heard, he loved Emma she held a special place  
  
in his heart, and now she was dying. He suddenly felt this pain, it was like his heart was  
  
being ripped out right in front of him. First Joey was back, then his fight with Rachel, then  
  
Nickey, and now Emma. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't understand what he had  
  
done to deserve this pain. His perfect family was never going to be perfect but not in the  
  
way he saw it.  
  
"Sweetie why didn't you tell me" His eyes began to water and he wiped them away  
  
in fear of making her cry too.  
  
"Daddy, don't cry I'll always be your little angel"  
  
He was taken aback by what she had just said. She would be his little angel but he  
  
didn't want it to come true.   
  
"Dad, let's get out of here hospitals give me the hibbie jibbies"  
  
Ross realized he had not yet told her about Nickey, he knew this was going to kill  
  
her.  
  
"Why are you still crying, I told you I'm fine with it. I'm not scared of dying  
  
anymore."  
  
"Sweetie, I'm crying for you but Nickey too."  
  
"What's wrong with Nickey?"  
  
"She is downstairs in the ICU, she is really sick and we don't know if she's going  
  
to make it."  
  
"What" She broke down right there in the middle of the hall. There happy lives  
  
would never be the same again this was the day they said goodbye to that.  
  
"Rachel"   
  
"Oh, hi sweetie" she shot up to see Ross carrying Emma, she was asleep but it  
  
looked like she had took the news pretty hard.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"She took it really hard. I took her for a drive, that's why it's so late."   
  
Rachel hadn't noticed what time it was, "Wow it's nine o'clock, oh my god the  
  
kids"  
  
"Don't worry your mom and dad and my parents are taking care of them."  
  
"All of them, together."  
  
"No, No, No, your mom has Nate, your dad took Ben, and my parents have  
  
Zack."  
  
"What about Monica?"  
  
"Oh my god Monica"  
  
"You forgot to call her."  
  
"Yea, but I need to tell you something first"  
  
"What is more important then telling Monica?"  
  
"Emma's cancer is back"  
  
"Okay thanks for trying to lighten the mood but that is not funny"  
  
"I know it's not funny"  
  
Rachel noticed the look on Ross' face and realized he wasn't joking, "She going to  
  
be fine right."  
  
He shook his head no, "She doesn't want to fight, she wants to let it go"  
  
"How can she let it go?"  
  
"I don't know but I think we need to respect her decision"  
  
"Yea, okay" she started to cry again, "How long does she have?"  
  
"A month or two"  
  
"That's it"   
  
"Hey Rach, don't cry, look at it this way at least she won't suffer."  
  
"She won't suffer, how would you know"  
  
"Because she told me she'll always be my little angel." At this they both new they  
  
had to make peace with it. Emma was going to die, so they decided to do nothing different  
  
except treasure each moment with her.  
  
"Monica hi it's Ross"  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"We're at the hospital"  
  
"Is everyone okay?"  
  
"Nickey is in a coma," he started to cry, "and Emma, well Emma's cancer is back."  
  
"I'm so sorry, I'll be right there."  
  
"Don't bother, the room is already packed. I just wanted you to know that Emma  
  
isn't going to fight it, and she doesn't have very long. Nickey is at a point where she will  
  
either wake up or " he couldn't say it , Both of his daughters we're dying" or die"  
  
"I'm coming down there. You and Rachel need someone."  
  
"Don't worry about it we're fine."  
  
"Ross, I am your sister, that's what I'm here for."  
  
"Yea, thanks sweetie"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh sorry, Rachel asked it I wanted something to drink"  
  
"How is she holding up?"  
  
"She's worse than I am" he needed Monica and he had to tell her that, "maybe you  
  
should come down."  
  
"I thought so, I'll be there it twenty, I love you"  
  
"I love you too, don't forget that Monica, your my sister and I love you"  
  
"Okay, Bye"  
  
For over a month, they all trudged through dark days of pain. The kids missed  
  
several days of school and Emma continued to get weaker. The hospital began to give her  
  
meds. instead of aspirin, to kill the pain. Emma no longer went to school, she spent most  
  
days in bed or at the hospital. Rachel had gotten extremely close to Emma through the  
  
whole thing. They talked about Nickey and how close they were to her, and with that they  
  
found a common bond. Rachel would take Emma everywhere with her she could. Rachel  
  
was still broken inside, because no matter how much she tried, Emma was not Nickey.  
  
Ben took it really hard too. They both went to the same school, so now every day  
  
instead of Nickey sitting in the passenger seat, it was empty. He couldn't embarrass he  
  
with baby stories or point out who she liked. He couldn't talk to her about what he should  
  
get his girlfriend or if he should break up with her.  
  
In one way or another they all blamed themselves for Nickey fate. Ross said he  
  
shouldn't of yelled at her and left her alone. Rachel said she should have ran after right  
  
away. Ben said he should have been watching her. Emma said should of been there. Nate  
  
and Zack didn't understand most of it, they only knew that they might never see Nickey  
  
again.   
  
Monica took care of the kids most of the time. Ross threw himself into his work.  
  
He didn't talk to anyone anymore, especially Rachel. Rachel stayed by Nickey's side only  
  
leaving to take a shower and change. Emma stayed right by Rachel's side. Ross and  
  
Rachel were never in the same room for long periods of time. She would beg him to hold  
  
and tell her everything would be okay and he would refuse saying he couldn't promise her  
  
that knowing if anything happened it would crush her. Ross couldn't stand her suffering,  
  
he watched her a lot of the time from the hallway. She would cry herself to sleep, then  
  
wake up with a nightmare. She started to pray that Nickey would wake up, she couldn't  
  
stand the thought of losing both her girls. He tried to take care of her and wipe away her  
  
tears, but sometimes it was just too much.  
  
"Ross, why won't she just wake up, we need her."  
  
"Sweetie I know but we may have to realize that we may never get her back"  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"I'm not saying we won't I'm just saying it doesn't look good, and I don't want  
  
her to lay here all her life. I wish she would just die or wake up already."  
  
"You mean you would rather see her die then wait a year and see her live. You  
  
mean you don't care about her that much to take time out of your work and stay with her.  
  
Do want to just forget about her? Ross that is still our baby girl in there, she is still  
  
Nickey, nothing will ever change that. She needs us, we are what she is fighting for, and I  
  
sure as hell don't want her suffering, but if I can have my Nicole back I want her."  
  
Rachel needed him and he couldn't see that. She needed him to rebuild her  
  
happiness and to make her smile. "Rach, I'm sorry. You know I love Nickey too. Look  
  
why don't you go home and get a nice cold shower to shake this off. I'll stay here, I won't  
  
leave her side I promise."  
  
"No, I can't"  
  
"Yes you can Rach she doesn't want to see you like this, she would want you to be  
  
happy."  
  
"I guess your right but if she makes one little move, if the one strand of hair moves  
  
then....  
  
"If one teeny tiny little thing changes I'll call you I promise"  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yes, I love you know go." he helped he put on her then walk her out.  
  
"Mommy"  
  
"Nicole" 


	6. Now and Forever

Ch.6 Now and Forever  
Rachel turned around to find Nickki's eyes fluttering open. Although she was now awake she still looked weak and in pain. She started to move her body, trying to hold her own and get up. She was still too weak to sit up straight all the way. Rachel and Ross immediately rushed to her side.  
"Oh, my god. Nickki, your up."  
Ross stood at the foot of her bed in shock, "I'm going to go get a nurse."  
"Is daddy okay?"  
"We're just so glad your okay," She playfully slapped her arm, "And don't you ever scare us like that again."  
"Mom, did we win?"  
"Yes, baby, you scored the winning point."  
"Ye-" she began to cough, "I guess I won't be able to play next week in our game against Jackson Middle huh."  
"Honey, you already played them and lost. You've been in a coma for over a month and a half."  
"I what?"  
"You have pneumonia. You immune system was so low you were going to die. We thought we had lost you forever." There was a long silence and Nickki stared into her mother eyes, she thought she had fainted. She couldn't remember even the last half hour of the game. She felt as though something had been taken away from, when Rachel started to cry. "I thought I had lost my best friend, When I saw you lying here all I wanted to do is hold you and tell you how much I loved you. I couldn't and if you'd died I would have never forgiven myself. " Nickki slowly sat up with Rachel's help. When she was fully up Rachel wrapped her arms around her.  
"Mommy, I love you, and I'll never leave you I promise. "  
"I love you so much."  
"Well Hello Nicole, how do you feel?"  
"Fine, Can I go home?"  
"I'm afraid not. You have to stay in here for at least a week. You have only been up for five minutes, you could slip back into your coma if your not careful."  
"When will she back to normal?"  
"Probably around Christmas."  
"Christmas!" Rachel was having enough trouble with the fact she could relapse, now she wouldn't even have daughter fully back till Christmas.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Gellar may I talk to you in the hall?"  
"Sure" Ross and Rachel walked into the hall holding hands.  
"Her breathing is still very slow and she may still slip back into her coma. Her heart is beating very slowly. These are not very good signs. Sometimes before a person in a coma dies they wake up then slip off into the coma and die. I'll do everything in my power to keep that from happening but it doesn't look good. She'll be given a shot once every six hours to keep her stabilized. It will be a miracle if she makes it. I need you both to keep this a secret because we want to keep her happy, Happiness can sometimes help patients get better."  
"She is not just a patient, she is my thirteen year old daughter. She has her who life ahead of her and your telling me there is nothing you can do. Help her." Rachel collapsed into Ross' arms  
"You are a doctor she can't just wake up then die. You told us if she woke up that was a good sign. So now your telling us she's dieing."  
"I didn't say that, it just doesn't look good. I have other patients I'll be back in an hour to check on her, and the longer she's up the better she has a chance of surviving." The doctor had just walked away like Nickki was nothing.  
"What a jerk. Rach, are you going to be okay?"  
"No, how can you even ask that. My daughters are dieing. Nickki is dieing."  
"Look he didn't say that. Nickki is a fighter, she always has been. I know she's going to make it. That doctor doesn't know shit."  
"I think we need to have the kids come say good bye."  
"Rach, she's going to be fine. Please don't lose hope."  
"My hope is gone Ross. First Nickki goes into a coma, then Emma's cancer is back, now they're both dieing and you and I don't even sleep in the same room anymore."  
"Look at me. Rach look into my eyes I love you. I love you. I didn't know that us not sleeping at the same time bothered you so bad. I thought you understood I stayed up when you were sleeping to watch over the girls. I'm so sorry I haven't been there. Emma may be going to die but I still have faith in Nickki. Don't give up, please don't give up on me." A small tear came down Ross' face and landed on Rachel's nose. She looked and gazed into his eyes. She had seen his pain, his love for his girls. Even though he was closer to Emma and she was closer to Nickki. They were in the same boat.  
He stared back into her eyes and there was the connection they always had. The spark of there relationship was still there.  
"You go stay with Nickki and I call Monica to tell her the good news."  
What are we going to do about Emma? Nickki doesn't know yet."  
We have to tell her, it's only fair that they get as much time as possible together."  
"Your right, I'll tell her."  
"I love you Rach."  
"I love you too, Ross" And like that their relationship was healed.  
Ross pulled out his cell phone and dialed Monica and Chandler's number.  
"Hey is Monica there."  
"Sure man, how you holding up."  
"Great. Really great."  
"She's up?"  
"Yep!"  
"Congratulations man, here's Mon."  
"My niece is okay!"  
"Hopefully but can you bring the kids down?"  
"Even Emma?"  
"Even Emma."  
"No problem we'll be there in a couple of minutes."  
"Thanks Mon. I owe you one."  
"That's what family is for. Love you."  
"Love you. Bye." He walked back into the room to find Rachel watching Nickki. She was now peacefully looking out the window. Ross knew Rachel had told her. Her cheeks were stained a light crimson color because she had been crying.  
"When?"  
"What?"  
"When did you find out?"  
"The same day you went into your coma."  
"It just came back?'  
"Apparently it never left. Look Nickki I know this hard, but she's coming up soon, and she's already pretty weak. We have to be strong."  
"I can't."  
"It's never going to be easy to get through this, but we'll always have each other." Nickki began to cry again. "Baby don't cry, please" Rachel held Nickki into her arms. She couldn't begin to understand the pain Nickki was feeling, when Nate came running into the room.  
"Sis, your up!"  
Nickki quickly wiped away the tears from her eyes. "Yep. How have you been?"  
"Good, I got an A on the project you helped me with." Monica came in while he finished talking. "Thank God, you're up." "Where is Emma?" "Uncle Chandler is bringing her up." "She's that weak!" "She is just to tired sweetie, some days she has more energy." Ben entered carrying Zach, who was sleeping. "Hey, Sis, Don't you ever freaking scare me like that again. "Nickki!" Emma's voice was soft and raspy. Her skin was pale. Yet a smile spread across her face.  
"Emmy!" Chandler set her on the edge of the bed and they hugged each other. "Can we have a minute?"  
"Sure, Baby, were going to go get something from the cafeteria." They all left leaving Emma and Nickki alone.  
"So..."  
"So, I take it mom and dad told you my cancer is back, and that I'm not going to fight it. I know I would have my whole life ahead of me but something is telling me I'll be in less pain and happier if I die."  
"But what about me and mom and dad and the guys."  
"You and mom are like best friends you'll be fine. Dad will love you as he does me now, and the guys will only watch after one sister. You will all be better off once I'm gone. We all know I don't fit in this family."  
"That's so not true. You are one of the most important people in this world to me. With out you I'll died. I'll never be able to fill the void in Daddy's heart. We both know he loves you more than me. Just like mom loves me. As for Ben you're his baby sister, and that will never change. Nate and I will never be as close as you and he are. This family needs you, I need you."  
"I'm sorry but I can't fight anymore, and I don't love you any less. If it's possible I love my family more. We'll all be fine in the long run; I wouldn't leave you if you wouldn't."  
"I love you, just promise me you never ever forget that."  
"I will never ever forget how much you love me. You've been more then just a sister. You're my best friend and I love you so much."  
"I know, sister bond. I love you now and forever."  
"I love you too, know and forever."  
"I am," A small tear trickled down Nickki's face, "I am going to miss you so much."  
"I know but I will always be with you."  
"Girls? Are you guys done because we have to get going soon?"  
"Daddy, you aren't all going home are you?"  
"Sorry Princess, but it's late and the guys need there sleep for school tomorrow. Plus Emma you need your rest. We'll be back first thing in the morning."  
"Ross, why don't you and the boys go down and Emma and I will be down in a second." Ross and the boys left knowing Rachel had something up her sleeve.  
"Okay Emma say goodbye. I promise Dad will bring you back up in the morning."  
"Mom, aren't you coming home."  
"No, I could never leave one of my girls in the hospital alone. Plus tomorrow while you're here I can get some sleep. We can have some girl time too."  
"Fine."  
"Oh, come here you two." They joined in a group hug; Nickki noticed something different in her mother this time. Rachel helped Emma to the car and said goodbye.  
"Ross, honey call me later I have something to tell you."  
"I will honey. I love you." They had a quick kiss which both of them wished it had lasted longer.  
She walked back up to the room spotting Nickki sitting up on her own. A nurse walked in carrying a needle. "Okay Nicole this will keep you stabilized for now."  
"I have to have a shot."  
Yep.  
"Mom, you didn't tell me I would have to have a shot."  
"Sorry sweetie but it will help you get better. I'll be right here through the whole thing."  
The nurse administered the shot, Nickki shook a little but that was the way she always was with needles. Just like her father in that way.  
"Mom can I call Emma, she should be home by now."  
"Sure honey."  
"Sorry mam, she needs her rest. Doctors orders."  
"I talk to her when Daddy calls."  
"You can't have your cell phone in the room it could wake her. That is hospital policy."  
"Okay, I'll go outside." The nurse left and Rachel turned on her cell phone. "I'll let you talk to her if your awake, but please try to get some sleep. They say you're in the clear to sleep but I have to wake you up every two hours."  
"Can you tell me the story?"  
"Of what? Of how I fell in love with my amazing baby girl. Well your father was marring Emily and you were born..." As soon as Nickki's eyes closed she was sleeping. Rachel decided to call Ross. "Hi honey."  
"Hey, Baby."  
"How are you?"  
"Fine tired though."  
"I won't keep you long I just have some news."  
"Good news I hope."  
"Depends on what you think is good news."  
"Oh God."  
"Just let me tell you first."  
"Okay"  
Well you know you and I always wanted one more, I don't know if it'll ever be a good time but in nine months were going to have another mouth to feed."  
"We're having a baby."  
"Yep."  
"That's great news how could you ever think that was bad news."  
"I just thought with all that's going on..."  
"Rach,"  
"Yea."  
"I love you. Go get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."  
"I love you too."  
Rachel watched as her daughter slept, she reminisced about the past with Nickki. She remembered how Nickki would always ask how she and Ross fell in love. That was her bedtime story until Ross left. Then Rachel would tell Nickki about she came to have such a wonderful daughter. Thinking of this she drifted off to sleep.  
"Rach, sweetie, wake up."  
She opened her eyes to find Ross hovering over her. "Good morning sweetie."  
"Shh," He smiled at her. "Emma is still tired so she's in the chair over there sleeping and Nickki is sleeping to. The boys are all at school. I have to go to work. I love you."  
"Love you too. Bye" The sun came up around eight o'clock. She left the girls a note and went to go get breakfast from the cafeteria. When she returned Nickki was watching Emma sleep.  
"Good morning, Baby."  
"Morning"  
"How did you sleep?"  
"Pretty Good" she rubbed her eyes as if they burned. "Is she in a lot of pain?"  
"No, she's on morphine, but it won't be long before she is. I just hope she doesn't suffer long."  
"Me too. She's my best friend."  
"Mine too."  
"Really?"  
"Yea, I love her just as much as I love you. We really bonded. Everyday we would sit in this room talking about you, and it just really gave us this link. I realized I would only have her for so long. I want to cherish every moment I have with her."  
"Me too."  
"That's why your father and I told you so soon. We want you guys spend as much time together as possible."  
"A lot happened while I was out didn't it?"  
"Kind of, Emma and I got a lot closer. Zach took his first steps. Nate and your father got closer because they worked on his projects together. Other then that we're still the same."  
"What about Ben?"  
"He had a hard time with excepting you might not comeback. He got in the morning and had to drive to school. I think he had the hardest time with all of this. He's become very quiet."  
"Hey guys" Emma was up.  
"Hi, sleepy head." Rachel walked over and gave her a hug. Then she sat Emma on her lap. Emma was very thin; the cancer lowered her eating habits. She was tiny enough to be twelve years old and still sit on Rachel's lap.  
Nickki began to feel left out. There were many days that Rachel had left out Nickki. This was the something different in Rachel. She was distant from Nickki, and before Nickki was in her coma they were the closet people on the planet.  
When Nickki returned home they had a small party, because Nickki didn't want to celebrate yet. She said that they should celebrate when she wins her first volleyball game. Every day she would beg to go to school. On the Friday that winter break got out, after Rachel had left she snuck out.  
"Emma, I'll be home at lunch with Ben to check on you. I love you now and forever. Thank you so much."  
"I love you now and forever." They gave each other a hug and Nickki was out the door with Ben. They checked on Emma at lunch and she was sleeping so Nickki and Ben left her a note.  
Dear Emma,  
We came home for lunch and didn't want to wake you. Hope your having a good day. Ben will be back in two hours. Thank you for everything.  
Love you now and forever,  
Nickki and Ben  
At the end of the day Nickki gave Ben a hug for Emma and she was off to her game. She got ready and the whole team welcomed her back. The coach put her in as starting server. She won the first game, all fifteen points. The second game they won too. The third game was fun but they ended up winning anyway. It was the first championship game. They all voted for the player of the game. It was Nickki.  
"Ladies and gentlemen. The votes are tallied and the player of the game, won a game by herself and just got back after being sick. The player is Nicole Gellar!  
Nicole received her medal and the team lifted her up onto their shoulders. From this view Nickki spotted Monica and Chandler. She had no clue what they were doing at her game. Nobody was supposed to be home yet. Her mind began to wander on why they were there...  
  
Sorry it's been so long. I hope you like it. Please give me some reviews. I love writing this story but I want to know what you think. I love R and R! Please Review. Love ya. 


	7. Father to Daughter

Ch. 7 Father to Daughter  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Get your stuff we have to go."  
"What's going on?"  
"We'll tell you in the car." Wanting to know she obeyed. In the car Chandler began to drive and it was silent.  
"What's going on!"  
"While you were at you game something happened at home."  
"What?"  
Chandler pulled over on the side of the road. "Emma died a half hour ago."  
"What!"  
"I'm so sorry honey"  
"She was fine this morning."  
"Her body just gave in." Monica got in back with Nickki; she couldn't handle the last few events. Her body quivered and she collapsed in sadness. Monica comforted her and gestured Chandler to drive.  
They reached the house, once inside there was no trace of Emma. Her medical things were already gone, as was her body. Rachel and Ross were huddled on the couch with the rest of the children. Seeing them she ran into her room.  
Her room was not as she left it that morning. Emma's bed was neatly made. Her magazines, games, and anything she had used to keep herself occupied the last few weeks were gone. It looked as though they had never shared a room.  
Nicole couldn't take in the reality so fast causing her to run outside. The gang witnessed all of it. They could hear her screaming outside.  
"I'm going after her."  
"Ben, Honey, I think she needs her mother."  
"Rach, not to be mean but I think Ross should go."  
"What for."  
"She needs someone strong, someone who can wrap his arms in a special only Emma could feel, that Nickki needs to now."  
The room fell silent and Ross walked outside. Once outside he walked over to Nickki. He put a warm coat around her then he, himself wrapped his arms around her.  
"I know this is hard to take right now but-"  
"But she's in a better place."  
"Yes, but we're going to be okay. I know you can't see it now, neither can I. But we will be okay, someday."  
"Was she in pain when she died."  
"Not much, her little body just couldn't fight anymore."  
"Did you talk to her?"  
"Yes, barely. I held her hand until the end and in her last moment I kissed her head and said 'I love you, baby.'"  
"How did mom handle it?"  
"She was a mess. She sat in my lap holding Emma's and my hand. With Emma's last breath she just collapsed, saying she wanted to die. I've never seen her so upset."  
"It's shocking how much you can love someone and not even know it."  
"Can I show you something?"  
"Sure."  
They drove for what seemed like forever, and when they finally stopped it was at an old park. Ross got out and grabbed Nickki's hand.  
"Where are we going?"  
"You don't remember?"  
"No."  
Her put his hand in his jacket wiping away snow from a tree. The images started to flood back into her memory. The tree had sayings engraved on it  
but one in particular stood out.  
  
Nickki and Emma  
Best Friends  
My girls  
Love Daddy  
  
"She used to love it here."  
"I remember."  
"You know she'll always love us, and we'll always love her."  
"Yea, It's just very hard to except right now, that's all. I mean one moment you're with her then you turn around and she's wiped clean."  
"You mean your room."  
"Yea."  
"Well we figured if you saw all her stuff it might be harder. If you need to see it though, we carefully put it in the attic."  
"Why, she should be remembered not forgotten."  
"It's just a process of moving on."  
"She died an hour ago!"  
"I know, I know." He took her into his arms like he did with Emma so many times and they cried, together. 


	8. Grieving

Ch.8 Grieving  
That night Ross and Nickki came home very late. He carried his sleeping daughter to her room. Rachel was sleeping on Emma's bed. It was two in the morning and it looked like she just fell asleep.  
Ross carried Rachel to their bedroom and laid her down. He covered her with a blanket and went on to check the rest of the children. Zach was fast asleep, still to young to understand.  
Nate was curled up in Ben's bed, Ben asleep on the window seat. Not wanting to wake him, Ross put a pillow by his side and covered him with a blanket.  
After making sure the rest of his family was set he lay down in bed himself and turned off the light.  
  
At six o'clock the alarm buzzed, it was still set for work. He didn't sleep very much anyway to begin a day of funeral arrangements. Rachel must have been up for a while; her side of the bed was cold.  
Downstairs she sat at the dinning room table feeding Zach and already working on funeral arrangements. Her face puffy from crying and lack of sleep.  
"Honey go back to bed, you need your rest."  
"So do you. Plus the kids will be up soon."  
"Let's make breakfast, eat as a family. Maybe get our minds of it." They made breakfast and then they decided to wake the kids up and take them to a movie. The boys were all gathered around the table but where was Nickki.  
"Ross, Nickki isn't in her room." Rachel's voice sounded panicked.  
"I'll find her." Ross knew exactly where she was. Ross walked into the attic. Nickki was asleep on the floor, Emma's favorite blanket wrapped around her. Emma's things were strewn across the floor.  
"Princess wake up."  
"Hi, daddy."  
"Let's go get you some breakfast." He took her by the hand and led her to the kitchen.  
"Nicole Rachel where is heaven's name were you!"  
"Rach, it's okay. She was in the attic. I told her she could."  
"Don't ever do that again. Eat some breakfast then get dressed we are going to see a movie."  
"Can I go over to Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler's?"  
"After we go to the movies." Nickki ate her breakfast quickly and quietly. She then ran upstairs and pulled on her light blue jeans and a pale pink and silver stripped shirt. Still red from crying she threw her hair into a ponytail and put a hat on.  
The movie like the days leading up until the funeral where all the same, Rachel watching Zach and seeking comfort in Ross. She acted like when Emma died so did Nickki.  
Nickki spent many nights at Monica and Chandler's. She had babysat for them while they went to work and at night Nickki, Monica and Chandler would curl up on the couch to watch a movie. When it got late and Nickki had fallen asleep Chandler would carry her up to the guest bedroom and tuck her.  
Somehow Nickki felt more at home with Monica and chandler then she did at her actual home. Her house felt empty, Emma wasn't there to have fun with, her mom had changed and didn't talk to Nickki at all, and when she walked in the door it seemed as if the world around her had collapsed. It felt as is when Emma died she took the family she had with her. The fact that her family was practically lost, made her die inside. If she was alone she was crying. It was her way of grieving. 


End file.
